Thursday, January 5, 2012

DRY

I am naked for ten minutes after I shower. During those ten minutes I make the bed, fold clothes, and tidy the bedroom. Every day. That is my routine. When in Vancouver, in my family home since 1985, I have to adjust my habit by putting on underwear for the three-metre trip from the bathroom to my room. I shut my bedroom door, close the curtains, and doff the underwear. For ten minutes post-shower in Vancouver, I am naked and slightly nervous. My bedroom door has no lock. My parents never knock. It need not be said that I have never got laid in my childhood bedroom.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

SERRATED

Michael is a curious boy whose meat and vegetables are cut up into small chunks. He is six years old and my nephew.

MICHAEL: Can I cut your ham for you, Kow-Foo?

ME: Sure. Michael, you see these ridges on the knife?

MICHAEL: Yeah.

ME: You know what they're called, what this knife is called?

MICHAEL: Ummm... No.

ME: Serrated. This is a serrated knife.

MICHAEL: Okay why?

ME: Well... I'm not sure why it's called that but see how it makes cutting the meat easier? Like sawing?

MICHAEL: Yeah, I don't have to push down so hard. Daddy, look! I'm cutting Kow-Foo's ham with a serrated knife!

ME: Michael, it's always good to learn more words. Tons of words. The more words the better. Always. Do you understand?

MICHAEL: Yeah.